Hold Me Close
by breadnbutter1219
Summary: Parker runs off again. But this time she is truly gone. Hopefully Eliot will be there to find her. Hopefully before it's too late.


"_Parker! Parker! Come back here at once!" Nate shouted. _

"_What in the hell? I thought we were making a good start. What went wrong? Nate! What happened over there?" Hardison shrieked over the coms. _

"_She's gone. Did she just disappear on us again?" _

"_I don't know, Sophie. She might be in the air duct or something." Nate looked at the ceiling, hoping that it was all just a big mistake, but she was really gone. _

"_Nate? What happened?" Hardison asked again._

"_Well the mark brought along a friend. That we weren't expecting. She started fidgeting and than just stood up, excused herself and leapt out of the room. I followed her to another room and saw her crawl through the ceiling."_

"_I think we all already know that. Why in the hell did she just get up and leave?" Hardison repeated his question. _

"_YOU THINK I KNOW? She's Parker! Just do your thing and find her." _

"_Well I can't do my thing when she turned off her com can I? And the GPS tracker I put on her shoe a long time ago already got discovered."_

"_Did you put another one?" Sophie asked_

"_Hell no. She threatened me, with her crazy eyes going all berserk on me. Violation of privacy and all that jazz, apparently. Violation of privacy, I tell you, I saw her going through all our stuff. Talk about violation of privacy."_

"_Hardison just shut up. Nate, I'm going to find her. You guys finish up and stay safe." Eliot said. The only one who has been quiet through this whole ordeal._

"_How would you be able to find her? I said no GPS tracker. No can do, dude."_

"_I think I have an idea where she is."_

"_Are you sure about this, Eliot?" A grunt reassured Nate's worry._

"_Okay. Sophie and Hardison stay in the van. I'll go back to Lindenven. And hopefully they won't suspect a thing."_

_And with that last comment, Eliot took of his com and set off to search for an unpredictable thief. _

Just breathe, Parker, Just breathe.

I stare down at the tiny dots that are supposed to be people. Everyone getting on with their lives, walking, running, chasing. I stand up here. Thirty floors. The tallest building in this god damn town. The once so familiar town. Everything have changed now. But the people here are still the same. Holding the same memories.

I take a breath. Just to calm myself. Looking down again, it almost feels like I'm about to jump off with a harness and everything, as if it's for a job. Something that Nate wants me to do. To break into someone's office. To steal something. But there's no harness this time. No safety net. No one to catch me.

What they say is true. The fact that life gets hard, and there's nothing you can do, but just wait till its over. I knew this fact since I was five, when dad and mamma died. I knew this fact when my little brother got ran over by the car. I knew this fact when I got beaten, raped, and casted off. But you can't wait till its over. It just happens again and again. There's really nothing you can do about it. All I know is that it leaves a hole in your heart.

I take a deep breath and look down again. Those people down there. They must have secrets as well. Pain as well. But none of them understands. None of them get why I can't stand live. Can't stand just the thought of living.

I step up on the ledge. Just a little closer to death. I laugh out loud. I close my eyes. But open them again. Remembering what happens if I let the dark close in.

Those memories. The thought of him and him and him and him. One after another. Always. Repeating. I want it to end. I want to get rid of all this crap and shit that surrounds me. I can feel it now. Everything that they have done to me on my fingertips. I clench my hands, trying to squeeze it all out. But it won't stop. If it doesn't end now, it will just be here. Always here. And I can't stand it anymore.

Tears. Tears running down my face. All salty and sweaty. Suddenly, I feel exhausted. I sit down. Legs dangling. I look down again. Will anyone stop me this time? Will anyone look up and notice me, like the time before? Will they call the police again?

I sighed again. The air surrounding me. Maybe this time, I can actually pretend to be a bird. To actually be able to fly. I hope the team doesn't cry at my funeral. I don't want them to remember me. I shouldn't be remembered at all. The troubles I have caused. I don't want to cause more.

More tears. More pain. I love them. The people on my team. The last time I loved someone, they got ripped away from me. Nate. The father I never had. Sophie. The sister. The mother. The caretaker. Hardison. Who wants something more. Something that isn't mine to give anymore. And Eliot. The one who understands everything I do. How can I leave behind these people? How can I tell them that yes I am broken, yes there is something wrong with me. How can I explain to them, that they can't fix me? How?

Take a deep breath. Look down again. How long will it take me to forget? How much pain will there be, before everything leaves?

_Come on, Eliot. Think. Where will Parker go? You're running out of time, Eliot. Come on. _

_I burst through the door of her room at the hotel. Nothing. Not even a note. _

_Damn it, Eliot. Think harder. You're not trying hard enough. Like your father used to say. He was right, all this time. Just when things get serious, you can't step up to your plate. Stop! No. It's time to find Parker. _

_EH! Throwing over the bedside table. Where the fuck did she go? _

_Okay just calm down. Okay. Nate would probably go to a bar. Sophie would go shopping, hidden in a changing room. Or to Nate. Hardison would be in his room. Underneath his bed. And Parker. Parker would go somewhere high up. _

"_Hardison!" Turning on my com. _

"_Yesh? Did you find Parker?"_

"_No, not yet. How far am I from the tallest building in this town?"_

"_Umm give me a minute."_

"_Hurry up, man!"_

"_Hold your horses. What do you think I am doing?"_

"_Rambling on and on."_

"_Okay okay I got it. Whoah. Its pretty far. Go straight north around 10 blocks and turn right. Around 12 blocks down and you'll see it. Hopefully."_

"_HOPEFULLY? Fine. Fine. I'll get on with it. Check back in later."_

_Well guess its time to see if Parker is a good teacher. Stealing a car. Huh. We all have our firsts…_

Starting to rain. Rain mixing in with tears. I don't know what's real or not. People start to thin out. Maybe its time. They probably wouldn't hear me, or notice me until tomorrow. Maybe it will be all over the news. Mysterious girl jumped off from building. No ids. Wonder if the team would be able to piece everything together. Maybe they wouldn't even know it is me. They would just carry on thinking I'm off in another country.

I want to be forgotten. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to have my life. I don't want the world to remember my life. There's nothing good in there. Nothing pure. It's all wrong. That's not how people should live. I'm an anomaly. And anomalies should be gotten rid off.

I hear the door to the roof open. I don't bother turning around. I know who it is.

"Parker! Come down! What are you doing?"

"Don't come nearer. Don't Eliot. Stop."

"Okay Parker. Please just come down from up there." _How did she know it was me in the first place? _

"Don't you get it? If I come down, I would be dead in mere seconds." _I chuckle again. _ "I think it would be quick. I would die before I hit the pavement."

"Why? Why would you want to die?" _I stare at her. My heart twisted, as if someone just grabbed hold of it. I can't lose her. Not like this. _

"Because everything fucking hurts Eliot! And it can't stop! When he, when he walked in. All I could think about was what he had done to me. What he had done to probably more kids since me. And it just hits me. Those memories, those people they will always be here." _I shout. Turning around to look at him. _

"Please Parker. Come back here. It will be better. I can make it better. I swear." _ Finally realizing why she just leaped out of the room._

"How are you so sure? You don't even know what's wrong!"_ I inch closer to thin air._

"No! Parker. Please. I can't. I can't lose you! I know. I know just hear me out okay. I know I can't make it go away. I know I can't turn back time and stop what has happened. If I had the power, I can make you forget everything. But I can help you lock all those horrible things away. I've done it many times before. I know how bad it hurts. When the pain takes over. And you're blaming yourself and nothing and nobody can make it all go away. Parker, I can make you hold on to life. I will always be here with you. I can make the pain go away. Give me time. Hell, give us all time. Don't you get it Parker? You're not alone anymore. We need you. Most of all I need you. I will always, always be here. And I will take care of you." _I look at her. Stepping closer. I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her. I need her to stay. It's selfish. But I know she needs this as well._

"Do you mean it?" _ What he said surprised me. Maybe he is always here for me. Suddenly, it made sense. My heart fluttering every time he smirks and laughs. The careless gestures. The private jokes. _

"Of course I mean it darlin'. I.. I.." _I don't know how to say the next part without alarming her. _"Parker… I love you." _I bit down my lip; curious yet scared to see what her reaction is. The girl I've grown to love over all this time. The way she tosses her hair when she cracks up. The glints in her eyes when she's plotting. The small, underestimated grin. I suddenly realize she had turned her self around. Legs no longer dangling over the edge. _

"You love me?" _I don't remember the last time some one said that they loved me. No one. _

"Yes. And I always will." _I realize she is sobbing. Whole body shaking with tears. I rush in holding her in my arms. _"Darlin', don't scare me like that okay? I don't know what I would do, if I saw you… if I saw you dead. I don't… I can't… I don't. Just…" _I wrap my arms around her. Her head resting on my shoulder. _

"I won't. I'm sorry Eliot. It's just that it hurts really bad. And it's always there. And I don't know how to stop it…" _Gosh. I'm crying all over his shirt. And there's probably snot and saliva. Ew. But he laughs. I look up in surprise. He laughs. As if he can read my mind. _

"Parker." _ I wipe the tears and what not away from her face. Her blue eyes peering up. _"Just remember. I'm always here. When you feel like this. I'm here. To be here with you. To hold you. Okay?"

"Okay." _I nod. He's really close right now. Is he too close? _

_I smile down. Tip her head up to look at me. I feel her warm lips against me. Soft. _

"Eliot. You just realized you kissed me."

"Yes. This kiss right here, it's a new start. Lock all those bad memories away and keep this kiss free."

"What?"

"Sorry. Haven't explained this well. Well in Parker logic, I guess… Ow. You just punched me."

"That's because you said Parker logic. Like I'm stupid."

"No, not stupid. Just incredibly cute and sometimes crazy."  
"HEY!"

"Close your eyes. No I'm not going to do anything to you. Just close your eyes. And do what I say. Okay. Picture this. Put all those bad memories into a safe. A big old bank vault. And you lock them up. And this bank vault. It can only be opened by me. I have the only combination. Can you do that?" _I see Parker take a deep breath. Close her eyes really tight and nods. _

"Okay? Now. Open a new safe. It's shiny. Small, but practical. And this one you put all the good memories, the ones you like. I also have the only combination. But this time, you can crack open the safe anytime you want. Okay?"

"Eliot?" _I open my eyes again. _"Why did you make me do that?"

"Well it categorizes your memories. It's a fresh start. So you can keep all those bad memories away."

"Really? So it's that easy?"

"Not necessarily. Sometimes it creeps up on you. But when it does. Just tell me. And I'll be here with you okay?"

"Okay."

They stay there for a long time. Rain pouring down. A hitter, who doesn't like to be touched, with his arms around a blonde thief with a broken past. Two people, outcasts, finding comfort in each other. Holding on. Eliot didn't know how he just confessed his love for Parker. Just an hour ago, if you told him that he loves Parker, he would have laughed in your face and shook his head. But now, it doesn't seem so ridiculous. Parker doesn't know why she haven't jumped off the building yet. But the fact that Eliot stayed with her. Tried to stop her. No one ever tried to stop her from hurting herself. She hugged him tighter. She doesn't want to ever let go.

"Parker you're shivering!" Eliot brushes a strand of her hair out of her eyes. "Common. We've been in the rain for too long. You're going to get hypothermia."

"Hmm. Don't let go. Haven't slept in a long time. It's warm in your arms. And it's safe." Parker mumbles. Eliot grins at the blonde thief. He knows that Parker is too scared to say that she loves him. But already he knows that she feels the same way. Eliot smiles again and picks her up.

"Hmm." Parker snuggles closer to his chest.

Just as Eliot wanted to open the door on the roof, the whole team rushes in.

"Good timing guys."

"Yes. Well, Nate got held up." Sophie rolled her eyes. "Parker sweetie! Don't ever ever leave like that again!"

"She won't. I can vouch for her." Eliot can feel Parker grinning into his t-shirt.

"Parker! Why did you take off?" Hardison glared at Eliot, who was holding Parker really close. Almost too close.  
"Hardison! Can you take it down a notch? Parker is asleep." Eliot knows that Parker doesn't want to confront Hardison right now. Parker was grateful that Eliot's special skill in reading her mind came in useful right now. "It's alright everyone. I talked to Parker. She won't do it again. She just needed a little time." Eliot tried to push past the three people. "Can we please just deal with it later? Parker will explain everything, if she wants to. It's her choice, not mine. Please just let me get her some dry clothes. I can't promise she will say everything, but I know she will explain herself."

Eliot carries Parker down the stairs. Leaving three very concerned people.


End file.
